It’s Not Him, Her or Them- it’s YOU
Every day we wake up and get ready to face our day, handle our work or tasks and deal with the people in our lives. We have those people that we adore being around, those people that we barely tolerate and many in between. As humans, we tend to feel that our own personal world is a private little bubble and we try to keep things insulated and protected from outside disturbances. You know the feeling- you get to work, you get settled in at your desk, you are gathering your thoughts and getting ready to do what you gotta do . You are confident, secure and feeling good…then BAM ! Some nudge comes in and invades your space with some crap that you couldn’t care less about. Suddenly your train of thought is shattered and you are no longer “in the zone”. This is what I call The Human Cannonball Effect. That person took a big jump off the diving board right into your perfect, tranquil, glassy pool .
Office interruptions are one thing but it can also happen on a much larger scale. Things are going well in your life, you are enjoying a nice, easy period where things are flowing just the way you want them to. Suddenly and completely out of nowhere an ex calls and immediately you are reduced to anger or insecurity. You have a parent that seems to know exactly when to call to pop your balloon and you feel discouraged and as though all your efforts are pointless. It’s a common thing that we can all relate to but what we fail to realize in those moments is that the solution is well within your grasp.
NEVER let yourself be held hostage by other people’s emotional problems and NEVER let yourself become someone else’s perception of you.
It takes a while to work on this and depending on your particular issue- it may be hard work but you must realize that it all comes down to you and what’s going on in your brain. When these issues crop up and you start swirling down that drain- STOP and take a moment . First, realize that what is happening is cyclical- it happens from time to time and this time is probably no different from the other times. You got past it before and you will get past it again. There is no life altering thing happening here, just the same crap –different day. Second- change your reaction. Think about the feelings that you experience when these things happen and tell yourself that you simply do not wish to feel that way anymore. You are absolutely capable of recognizing your feelings and then choosing to let them go. Third- you are ultimately in 100% control of your own thoughts and feelings. No one can bring you down if you do not give them the power to do so. Flick that switch and know that you are the one who is powerful and that is all that matters in your life.
Ask yourself if you invite this type of thing in by not being clear with others about what is acceptable for you. You can let people know that you do not appreciate their treatment of you in certain situations. Tell them that you want it to stop and tell them why. If they care about you, they will respect your efforts to take care of yourself. Some people honestly are not aware that they are causing you pain and would never want to be the source of any bad feelings. You can be a kind, sympathetic , caring person without sacrificing your own happiness. Be honest and direct and make yourself crystal clear about what you want and do NOT want to be exposed to. Anyone that does not respect your feelings should not be close to you. Don’t feel bad for cutting them off- once you made yourself clear they will know exactly why access has been denied and they will either change their methods or move on to the next victim- which WILL NOT be you !
Go forth and Be Fierce !