Last night, President Obama told the Nation that he believes gay couples should be allowed to get married. As I listened to him, he seemed logical, calm and as though he had suddenly discovered a simple truth that really wasn’t all that difficult to fathom. The news programs were buzzing, people on the street were giving their 2 cents and of course, his presumed opponent for the next election rang in with a completely opposite point of view. In my opinion, people should be allowed to build a life together legally. I don’t really care of you call it “Marriage” or not. As one that has been married, divorced and recently married again- I know that the sanctity of marriage has been pretty much ruined…by straight people. I find it utterly hypocritical for this country to be up in arms about giving a group of citizens the ability to marry due to the opinion that it will “ruin” marriage- when the very same straight people marry and then proceed to cheat on the spouse, divorce over and over, remarry over and over and basically do everything BUT stay married until death. I also believe that if Gay Marriage exists- Gay Divorce will exist. There must be lawyers chomping at the bit, waiting for the day when “Marriage Equality” means even more divorce cases to be tried and won, increasing their bank balances even further.
I grew up in the heart of the Entertainment Industry and my Mother worked at Universal Studios for 10 years. Most of Mom’s friends and co-workers were gay and I grew up with that knowledge from the time I was a young child. I never saw gay people or the culture as a novelty or something that was from a strange, alternate universe. It was always accepted and I knew that although some were very flamboyant and did in fact have over the top lifestyles, most were just intelligent, hardworking, talented people. I knew several gay men that were in serious, long term relationships and some that were in players…just like the hetero folks !
My Mother’s very best friend in the world was a gay man that she had known since the 50’s. They had gone through many of life’s ups and downs together and he was the one that took my Mother to the hospital to give birth to me, as my Father was a musician and had gone on the road. This was a man that always had glamorous jobs ( as a hairdresser and stylist) and lived well . During my childhood, I remember him having a big, fun personality and he often threw parties at his always beautiful homes and invited my Mother and I. The people that were there always treated us so well and were fun to be with. I was usually the only kid in attendance but everyone was wonderful to me and seemed happy that I was there. Much later, after I had grown up and gotten married, he and my Mother shared a house together and he lived there until he died of complications from HIV. My Mother was devastated and I was terrible sorry that she had lost her best friend and someone that had given her so much in life. I never thought about judging his lifestyle and I never considered him to be anything less than a valuable person.
I understand that some people are having a really rough time with the thought of Gay-Marriage BUT I really do believe that what they REALLY have a problem with is CHANGE. We are going through a revolution right now, economically and socially. The old ways of thinking, doing business and what we define as “family” is evolving -whether we like it or not. If we do not move forward as a society, we will become a relic. Consider various times in history, when major changes and upheavals took place …what we are going through now is no different. There are protests, marches and demonstrations, leaders that are under constant scrutiny and people that passionately declare their viewpoint. One thing is always clear- change will come and we will adjust and move forward. Feeling sorry that the world is not what it once was is useless. It’s the equivalent of looking at old photos from 100 years ago and then being angry that life is not what you see in those images. The world will always move on and you need to embrace what life gives you and create your own happiness.
To be Fierce is to be Fearless so buckle up Bitches ! Concentrate on YOUR life and live truthfully- the rest will take care of itself.
Have a GREAT day,