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The Kardashian Phenomenon Explained

There is all this crap out there right now about Oprah interviewing the Kardashians . People seem to really be up-in-arms about it, saying things like:“Wow- she’s selling out !!” – “why would she associate with them NOW ?”. In addition, the news that Oprah will in turn appear on their show REALLY seems to piss people off. Some people are convinced that the Kardashians are a sign of the nearing Apocalypse and even other celebrities use them as poster children for all that’s wrong in today’s culture. I don’t get it……why all this fuss, People ?. So… in an effort to calm the masses- I am here to explain what is really happening and why this one family is sooooo famous and has soooo many people talking.

It’s all very simple. The Kardashians are the “real” embodiment of the crazy, large, classic sitcom family that Americans can’t get enough of. Think about it- ALL the stereotypes are represented in this family- in fact, it’s so perfect, sitcom writers WISH they could come up with these characters. Here’s a breakdown of the cast:

Kris Jenner: The classic overbearing, control –freak Mom that runs everyone’s lives. She watches over the brood, cries at the appropriately tender moments and acts completely crazy most of the time. To call her their “Momager” is an understatement. She knows what color everyone’s poop is and will probably find a way to market it.

Bruce Jenner: The typical long-suffering Dad. He doesn’t have ANY control over events in his own household and rarely even has a clue about what’s really going on. He dispenses Mike Brady-esque wisdom to any child who gives him 5 minutes of their time. Bruce deals with life by disappearing to the golf course as often as possible and by pretending he has a hearing problem.

Kim Kardashian: The Princess Sister- she has the beauty, the style and a body that looks like it was illustrated sometime in the 50’s. She wants and gets the best of everything. Hair and make-up are absolute perfection at all times. In spite of her physical perfection, she has issues with finding the right man. Being in love with love is the key and just like on a sitcom- the search for Mr. Right goes on and on, featuring a cast of interesting if not always exactly “eligible” characters. Marriages last one season.

Kourtney Kardashian: The classic Big Sister. Smallest in stature but the girl has BIG balls- much bigger than any of the men. She’s jaded, condescending and although just as beautiful as Kim, she doesn’t dumb down or play the Princess. She already has The Man and The Offspring and never lets anyone tell her what to do. She has a wild side and even experimented with being a Lesbian before becoming a Mom herself.

Khloe Kardashian: Can you think of a more perfect sitcom little sister ? . Irreverent, loud and without a filter, Khloe lets shit fly and enjoys every minute of it . She can be sweet and roll up her sleeves to help when someone needs her but she doesn’t put up with any crap from anybody. Khloe’s sense of humor and ability to laugh at herself is endearing and fun and sets her apart from the rest. She completely shocked the whole family by marrying a man she barely knew AND has made it work…so far.

Rob Kardashian: Another Man in the house !…well if you wanna call him that. He’s cute but clueless and lets the girls mess with his life without much of a fight. A supporting character with few lines , Rob doesn’t move the story and doesn’t seem to quite know where to be or what to do. He gets our sympathy and sometimes, our condolences. #richkidproblems

Scott Disick: The classic stereotype of the Son-in-Law that everyone loves to hate. They all had reservations about him from the start but Kourtney just had to have him. After much craziness and substance abuse issues (and a decidedly “Dandy” wardrobe that is clearly for effect) Scott seems to have turned his life around for the better and is now a devoted Dad/Significant Other. Scott and Kourtney provide the laughs with their ridiculous fights about ridiculous issues.”To the Moon, Kourtney !”

Kendall & Kylie Jenner: These up and coming beauties provide nice scenery and have, on a few occasions, been part of some awkward storylines about questionable parenting. If this were a real sitcom, they would be cast and recast without notice and the audience would be expected to ignore it.

See what I’m saying ? When you put it all together with a weathy, over-the-top lifestyle featuring beautiful mansions, expensive modes of transportation and affluent locations, you couldn’t ask for a more perfect sitcom. It’s better than “Dallas”, “Dynasty” and every other Rich Folks/Family Soap Opera you can think of- only we are to believe that it’s all REAL.

Here’s the thing:  Real or not, appreciate it for what it is: ENTERTAINMENT. It really doesn’t affect YOUR life one way or another if Kim’s marriage to a douche-bag BBall player was fake or not. I am always floored at how incensed people get over Reality TV Characters. These people have sold their brand to an entertainment thirsty America and we bought it- period. SOMEONE  is buying all those magazines, clothing lines, diet pills, nail polishes and watching ALL their TV shows. If it’s not you then it’s probably someone close to you= SO WHAT.

Don’t get angry at these people and waste your precious time going off about them. If you find them offensive, simply STOP watching, buying, talking about or paying ANY attention to them. Go read (not tabloids!), play a sport, cook a meal, play with your kids- anything else. If you do enjoy them, go right ahead- they are here for your entertainment pleasure and it seems they are doing a fine job…..fine to the tune of a new $40 Million Dollar Deal on E! alone. You don’t get that kind of a deal by filming a show where your family is sitting around picking Cheetos out of the couch.

“ Reality “TV is silly, fun and sometimes downright horrifying. Just don’t let it run your life or for one moment make you truly believe it’s REAL. Enjoy it or ignore it but remember- Fierce Bitches don’t follow the herd- we like it how we like it and make no apologies.

Happy Friday !,

Erica

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