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MEAN Is The New Black


Have you noticed the preponderance of meanness these days? WHY Y’all wanna be so MEAN? It seems everyone thoroughly enjoys just plain being mean to people. It’s become like a new sport or the cool new trend-I’m talkin’ snotty teenager-bad attitude-let’s hurt someone on purpose MEAN. Gotta say…I don’t like it. Even though we ALL have those tendencies within us, I have been trying to quell the desire to just let loose when I feel the urge to unleash some snotty comment. When I feel a zinger welling up inside, begging for an audience, I ask myself “Do you really need to say that?” and most of the time, the answer is NO.

I’ve also noticed that often women bear the brunt of it. Not trying to be Miss Feminist but it’s out there so much these days that it’s become standard. We have all waited in line at the grocery store and seen the tabloids that feature a collage of shots of celebrities on their down time, trying to enjoy a moment at the pool or the beach and the cellulite on their legs and butts is magnified. There is also a lovely issue of “Let’s show a woman known for her beauty looking OLD with wrinkles and no make-up!” We all know that the major make-up, lighting and air brushing that is used for these people would make ANYONE beautiful. Magazine covers are routinely Photo Shopped to make unwanted curves disappear or to create curves that are not even there. The standard of beauty had become so unrealistic it’s truly disturbing. Is there any wonder that so many celebrities suffer from eating disorders and paranoia about their looks? Running to have plastic surgery for the slightest imperfection is normal for many. If that were you on the cover of a tabloid with a headline talking about how fugly you are cuz you ran out to get coffee in sweats and no make-up, you may have some self esteem issues to deal with too.

There is something even worse going on right now that is truly disgusting. Famous women that have become pregnant are now regularly ripped apart for being “fat”, gaining what others perceive as “too much weight”. We have Kim Kardashian, at about 5’2” and all curves, being made fun of in the media almost daily. They rip her clothes, her body and say the nastiest things you could ever say about a woman, let alone a woman who is pregnant. When did this behavior become acceptable? Other celebrities have already had their babies and if they don’t get back to Size 0 within 4-6 weeks it’s a problem. When was it decided that the most important thing to do after giving birth is to get skinny and fabulous?.GEEEEZ…I thought you were supposed to enjoy your Brand New BABY and get used to being a new Mom NOT make your first priority to look amazing in a bikini!.Yet they know that if they don’t get back into shape ASAP, the daggers will come out. The average woman out there sees the scrutiny and feels that she too had better put that baby down and get to Spin Class NOW. Why ? Being thin won’t make you a better Mom but being emotionally healthy will.

Bullying has been a part of life for everyone since the beginning of time. We all remember school days and the crap that went on that regularly hurt our feelings and humiliated us. “Mean Girls” wasn’t just a film for many. Look at what has gone on lately with politics. Our President has been the victim of some of the nastiest bullying that the country has ever seen. Presidents have always been the fodder for jokes but some of the things that have been said about this man are way beyond what would be considered decent. Call it racist if you want or say that it’s due to the current climate of division in this country. Any way you slice it- it’s wrong. Some idiot Congressman even nailed the First Lady for having a “large posterior”

WHAT ??? Do we really say stuff like that now?? Does a man say that about another man’s wife in public EVER- whether or not he likes that man’s politics?  I don’t think so!

By the way- The CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch doesn’t want you to buy his clothes if you’re not pretty, skinny and cool !

There’s Howard Stern, Chelsea Handler, Joan Rivers and even Donald Trump. It trickles down from “funny” TV Personality to Joe Blow on the Street to Joe Blow’s 10 year old kid. It creeps in and takes a hold and then that’s it-the winning formula is:

Be Mean=Get Laughs= Feel Like The Cool Kid.

I hope it will turn around. I wish we could all think before we open our big, fat mouths. I encourage my kids (15 & 18) to be funny but not at the expense of other people’s feelings. We kid around a lot but it’s NOT mean-spirited. It’s sad to me that we actually have to start a movement to tell young people that “It Gets Better” so that they won’t commit suicide after being harassed for whatever makes them different.

This week, give it a shot, think about it, talk about it.

I leave you with this:

“This is my simple religion. No Need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness” – Dalai Lama XIV

Have a great week,



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